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Friday, May 26, 2006

NEW HAIR

yeeeeeeeaaaaaoooowwww.... check out my new hair guys... huge change for me considering i am very very conservative with my hair!! im still getting used to it :S but i think its kinda cool :)

peace out xxx

posted by -Kezz- @ 6:21 AM 1 comments  

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Live Life.. No Regrets

LIVE LIFE

Recently i have been creating my PLP and one of the things they asked me really got me thinking... "List an experience in your past that has shaped who you are today". At first i didn't really think much of it.. but then i came up with 3 life changing events that have definitely had an effect on who i am today... and since i don't really talk about them that much, i thought i'd share it on here.

The first big experience was in grade 8 on mother's day. I was out with my mum, dad, grandma and grandpa for lunch. I don't remember any details of the day until we got out to the carpark. Because i didn't get my way with something i stormed off and sat in the car, while mum was yelling at me to say goodbye to grandma and gramps. Being my stubborn self i refused. At about 2am that morning i awoke to find out that my grandma had passed away in her sleep. Wow, did that hit home hard. I had the chance to say goodbye and didn't becuase i was acting like a spoilt little brat. I learned that my grandpa woke up in the middle of the night only to hear my grandma take her last breath - i think this is such a beautiful thing for him as in a way she was waiting to say goodbye to him. My grandma never wanted to be buried so, being cremated, i don't have the oppurtunity to go to her grave and put flowers there or leave letters telling her all the things i should have said when she was here... but lucky for me, she was loved so much by her church that they made a memorial plaque and put it on the bench that she always used to sit on in the garden. So it is here that i go whenever i go back home to the sunshine coast and just sit and talk and tell her eveything that's going on in my life. Every single day i regret not taking the opportunity i had to say goodbye and from this i have learnt to always take every single opportunity that is given to you, no matter how irrelevant it may seem at the time.

The second thing that has impacted on me as a person is something that happened on mother's day this year. This year was the first time in 18years that i wasn't home for mother's day.. and it just so happened to be the anniversary of my grandma's death too. Moving to brisbane was a huge step for me and although I'm getting used to not having my family and old friends around me, mother's day was such a hard day for me this year as all i wanted was a cuddle from mum.. yet i couldn't even give or get this simple wish. That day, i realised i was growing up and living my own life. On a day where smiles and hugs are meant to be given, instead i had a cry in the morning at Jess's before anyone was up.. here i was in a house full of people, yet i had never felt so alone in my life. This experience taught me to never think your too old for a simple cuddle and to not only celebrate your mum on mother's day.. cuz you might not get that that chance.

Finally, this experience happened last month and still hurts a hell of a lot. The day i moved into my new place, i got a call from my friend telling me that a very good friend of mine had been killed. Adrian was quite possibly the most positive, enthusiastic, fun loving and beautiful natured human being to ever walk this earth. His smile would bring a grin to my face and his eyes epitomised the saying, "they eyes are the window to the soul". He was 18 when he died. The details of the motorbike accident are so horrific that i can't even bring myself to write them here for people to read.. they will remain in my mind forever. Adrian was the first friend my age who has died so i have no idea what to feel. I did feel guilty at one point for feeling like i hadn't seen him as much as i should have, but my good friend and his best friend, Michael, assured me that Adrian never felt that way. Just the other week i was up the coast and i decided to go visit Adrian's grave. i can honestly say it was the hardest thing i have ever done in my entire life.. but in saying that i sat there for 3 hours - how time passes so fast. Coincedently Michael came after i had been there for about 2 hours and we just sat and cried in each other's arms, reminicing about all the great times the 3 of us had shared together. One thing that i will always hold close in my heart is that the first time i met adrian, the very first words he spoke were "Hi, your beautiful- don't let any guy ever take advantage of that. You deserve respect." As i got to know him, i realised that these words had meaning.. this truly was a one in a million guy. The closer we became the more we shared and grew together and i will never forget his words of wisdom, his hugs, the smile he gave when he saw other people enjoying themselves, and his selfless nature. I remember kissing him once and he turned to me and said that he had never kissed a girl before and i was his first.. this came as a huge shock as i knew that so many girls had their eyes on him. It was at the funeral (which i didnt get to go to - still kills me) that Michael gave a speech and in it he said.. and i quote... "Adrian never knew it, but he always had the girls after him... but for him there was only one special girl in his life, who was unable to make it today, but i know that he was eternally thankful to kezz for his first kiss and as i learned just last week.. his only kiss". When i read that i couldn't stop crying and i still count myself the lucky girl who he chose to share himself with. Since his death, i have adopted his way of life.. i try and see the positive in every situation, i dont like negativity, and most importantly i dont ask for credit for things i have done. Adrian was the quiet achiever who never asked for anything that would take the spotlight away from someone else. His life was short, but i can honestyl say that he got more out of his life in this short time than most people do by the time they are 70!

because of these experiences i now live by the motto.. "Be young and spontaneous and never live life knowing you missed out.. have no regrets."

posted by -Kezz- @ 5:19 AM 0 comments  

Friday, May 12, 2006

me!
well well well... hasn't this been an interesting time... firstly i guess i should introduce myself :)
Im Kezz and im an AIESECer at qut!! Just 2 weeks ago i was elected PD director and had the honour (?) of getting goon poured all over my head as my acceptance into the EB hahaha.
i'd have to say that clearly qut is the best LC around, especially since we have beautiful jess as our LCP and Azz as our .... LC ...er... mentor? hahah .
Well lately it's been busy busy busy with uni and what not.. free time isnt really a word in my vocab anymore :P but it's all good hey.

well tonight is dimmy's par-tay and i have a feeling i went a little overboard on the alcohol content i bought today.... :S oh well.. we only live once eh?

i suppose i had better be getting my ass into gear and finishing a marketing assignment due monday.. gaaahh! but im contemplating *kezz looks contemplate-ful* whether or not to dye my hair!!! hahaha

ok everyone, im gonna leave this here and do some work..
peace out xxx

posted by -Kezz- @ 10:00 PM 1 comments